No Trades Left Club (NTLC 2022)

Joined
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Hawthorn
#21
The night is dark and stormy and the door bangs open. A not so tall, not so dark but certainly handsome stranger comes in. The room grows quiet.

He strides up to the bar and perches on the edge of a stool. Looking at the barkeep he speaks "A double of your best Scotch on the rocks". His voice is a little hoarse and slightly annoying.

The ordered drink is placed gently in front of the stranger. Barely glancing at it, the man picks it up and downs it in one gulp.

Glass still in his hand the man slams his other hand down on the bar and lets out a strangled cough. Heavily breathing through his nose, he coughs again loudly, this time accompanying it with the sound of scattering ice cubes landing on the bar and floor. Another massive cough and it seems time slows as the stranger's mouth opens wide and a single cube springs out, glittering in the lights, a string of spittle twisting behind before it pin balls into a row of spirit bottles behind the bar.

The room is in shocked silence. The stranger gasps for breath and speaks again in a much hoarser voice "Well that experience pretty much sums up my Supercoach season - started out looking fancy but by the end I was trying not to chuck my guts up".

Gathering himself, he says "Sorry for the interruption all, this round is on me. Another drink please, make it a pint of Carlton and hold the ice."

Someone laughs and the room relaxs into discussion, the drinks flow and the night grows old filled with long stories and tall tales.
 
Joined
3 May 2017
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Hawthorn
#23
My trades are gone, all 35 of them spent on fools gold and quickly faded memories. Hope the NTLC 2022 is still welcoming members?!
Welcome, spittle and all. You’re with friends, just a few. We’ve been set in here for a week or so now. The dearth of options of which to improve our fantasy is only exceeded by fantasies we create. Bottoms up!
 
Joined
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Essendon
#25
To paraphrase the great HST

SC "should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

- Zero trades

- Four rounds to go

- Decent bench cover

- Rank 195

Ride or die
 
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Joined
17 Mar 2020
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Richmond
#26
Apologies for my late arrival to the thread, also joined the no trade club in round 18.
Earliest I've ever joined and my rank has been no better off for it

These last 2 trades, coupled with Massimo being my cover for Hall in round 17 epitomise my season

TH.jpg
 
Joined
3 May 2017
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Hawthorn
#28
To paraphrase the great HST

SC "should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

- Zero trades

- Four rounds to go

- Decent bench cover

- Rank 195

Ride or die
195 - cray cray good! Can I get you drink? Oh if there was a trade you could undo which is it?
 
Joined
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Essendon
#35
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Thanks for having me and feels so good to be joining this club and to rid myself of the pressure of making any more trades this season.

My only non-playing or non-emergency players this week are Rich (hopefully back next week) and Voss (floating donut) so hopefully can avoid any donuts from now until the end of the season.
 
Joined
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Carlton
#37
The Club feels nice and familiar after a long stay last year. I walk in and approach the bar, and in a dimly lit corner, a man sits with his guitar playing the classic, The Gambler:

"Now if you don't mind me sayin', I can see you're out of aces,
For a taste of your whiskey, I'll give you some advice..."


I wasn't even thinking about whiskey til that line, but now it seems like a great idea. I order and engage in conversation with the bartender.
"What was your last move?"
"Flipped Hewett for a fellow called Atkins. I'm telling you, he's going places..."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Oh nothing really. Just a hunch. But I'll have a lot of fun finding out if I'm right!"

"Said if you're gonna play the game, boy,
You better learn to play it right..."


"You got to know when to hold 'em..."
But that's not what I hear. Instead, our friend has changed the words to something more appropriate for the clientele, and I can't help but chuckle to myself:

"It just takes a little luck,
Pick your two best rucks,
Get all your rookies right,
And nail all your guns...


The singer knows he's caught me out, he makes eye contact with me and smirks.
"He loves tripping up the newbies like that," I hear from behind the bar. "Don't take it personally!"

You never count your scoring, on a Friday 'fore your captain,
There'll be time enough for counting, when the Sunday's done!"


Drink in hand, it's time to renew acquaintances with my fellow attendees, sharing stories of how many rucks have been through our sides, cursing taggers as a blight on the game, and why-oh-why didn't I trade for Todd Goldstein earlier...

"Every coach, he knows
That the secret to surviving
Is knowing who to fade away..."


An audible groan fills the room at this point.

"And knowing who to keep,
Not every team's a winner, most of them are losers,
And the best that you can hope for is a grand for the week..."


"Only a short stay for me this year, folks. Starting Monday I'm on a big new adventure into the world of teaching. But for now, I'm going to enjoy this weekend..."

"And somewhere around the grounds, The Bont made his break even,
And in these final rounds I've found a captain I can keep!"


Polite applause greets the conclusion of the song, immediately followed by the murmur of conversation and the flowing of drink and banter in equal measure.
 
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